I had a dream
Ok... well I am dead (in my dream) I walk into my room... it is cleaned completely... and is very bright, but the furniture is in the same place it has been. the TV is off, but I can tell it is on the same station it was on when I had died. I walk into the kitchen (it is almost dark here) on the cluttered jumble of papers on the table are these two empty boxes of pocky (I have these boxes in my room right now) I walk into the living room, where my mom is sleeping... she says, "I didn't hear you come in.".... She doesn't know it is me....when she realizes that her dead son is right there... she calmly asks "Is this your day?"... I begin saying "yes, it has been.... How many years HAS it been?" she holds her palm towards me (as if you were to give a high-five) I press my hand against hers.... I feel her hand in my sleep.... as I start waking up my dream is more disconnected...... we are now watching TV in my
room... the very show that was on when I died....
I wake up.
I love you but I can't love you like you need to be loved. Because of this, I'm trying to leave you but you're making it so damned hard! It is my family too and he is our son! To say this affects me any less is insane...
You can blame it on the military, the job, the unit, but I say it has to do with you. You knew the military was/is my career and it goes much deeper than 'just a job'. I try to push myself to do much better for not only myself, but for my family. All I needed you to do was understand that I had stress and to let me have just a little independence. It wasn't my lack of attention, just quality attention and I get it. But it was your tight grip on my freedom that drove me to her. I'll never tell you about her. It's because of her I didn't leave earlier. It was because of her and my shift of attention that you went to him. It's just dumb luck I caught you both in the parking lot - post hotel hook-up. I love you but can't stay with you. I will always love you - I have always loved you - I will always be there for you, even when you're with someone else. I can't tell you that because you won't understand that reasoning. I wish I was someone different... stronger. After all, you may be
but I'm splitting our family - the only family i've known - into pieces. I can only share these feelings because I can't feel vulnerable to you again. I won't. So I birth this into the void of the net, knowing you'll never see it and hope that somehow it will make me feel better about the emotional purge. Jason.
I Love Her In Silence
Two years ago my heart died.
Over time I have accepted that I will never again know what it means to love or to be loved and have lost both interest and direction in life. Yet one month ago I met someone who stirred impossible feelings within me. She opened up and showed me her heart and I was humbled by her inner beauty and compassion. Yet this woman is committed to another and lives behind a cultural barrier. I cannot deny what I am feeling. Still, I can never tell her these things; she is very beautiful and is used to men swooning over her for her attention. I don't want to be remembered as just another guy" in her eyes
When I tell people that I wish he would call, they assume I'm talking about my husband who is on the other side of the world for business, but I'm really talking about my secret lover.
Self Loathing Jerk
I have known my friend for about 7 years now. A few years ago we started working in the same building, so we hung out together. Sometimes I want to just bash his head in. There is always something wrong with him, always calling me with a problem. I just don't know why there is no sunshine and rainbows in his world.
He always calls me with some type of relationship problem, if he has a problem with the way he looks which is all of the time, and he is always diagnosing his damn self with diseases. I just don't know why I stay friends with him, maybe that's dumb on my part. I have done so much for him, and he has for me, but in this case my good outweighs his. With that, he critiques me and my family in my face. He says stuff like my mom is too judgemental and and a bunch of other crap, then turns around and complains that his parents don't love him and talk about all the bad things they say. UUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH. Get over it, move out, move out of the city, state, country, something. Just quit the complaining and do something about it.
After a few months in my current relationship, I wasn't feeling much, if any, emotional attachment to her. Today I decided to break up with her, but I want to do it in person because otherwise I'm just being a lousy coward. Well, she got online saying she couldn't sleep, right after I finished rehearsing what I was going to say when I broke up with her. After some small talk, she admitted she was starting to fall in love with me. This just dropped a massive pile of wrenches into the works and made things waaaaay more complicated. In short, this sucks.
hard to say hello
I keep running into M in my community. I have yet to look at him in the eyes, smile and say hello. It's the one thing I want to do more than anything and I keep stalling when our paths cross. I feel like such a knob.
she's at it again
my best friend is goin to take him from me. i love him like you would never know and he's just goin to fall for her and i'll be left out. i can't tell her not to talk to him and i can't tell him not to talk to her...it's unfair....... i don't think he likes me anymore as the time progresses....she's taking him from me.
I enjoy littering
I never do it around anyone and actually throw everything in the proper bins unless I am driving down the road alone. When I am alone on a stretch of road I HAVE to litter. I don't understand it but it's something I have to do. I always feel bad after.
I have recently formed an obsession with finding as many words that start in "e" and end in "ic" I feel as if people around me are bored about hearing that I have found yet another couple words... I just can't stop! after 331 words I feel like I need still more and more... HELP!
My high school sweetheart
After breaking up with my first girlfriend from high school five years ago and seeing other women, I'm still secretly obsessed about her. I still keep in touch with her as friends, but I always check if she's online and look at her blog and her social network profile almost every day. I also still think about her even when I'm seeing others.
From what I understand, she's been in and out of love as well, still searching for her Mr. Perfect. Although deep inside I want her to come back to me, I can never gather the courage to ask her, always saying to myself 'I have to move on' while my heart quietly weeps.
im in love with this guy ive been dating over the internet like really IN LOVE, except when he first met me i was lying about alot of things ALOT. i want to tell him the truth. but i love him so much i hate the thought of not being with him. this is the guy i want to marry. if he had been lying to me like this i would still want him but i dont know if he feels the same
never been kissed
im 16... and ive never been kissed
my mother gets me so mad sometimes, that i does feel like slapping her down everytime she open her mouth.(she must feel the same about me). she does mess up everything that i have to do.....i goin an fail exams if i doh get some kinda revelation because of her. she just cah get ah answer an take it, she always have to inquire and get this an that and talk to this one an that one. she treats me like i'm 16 when i'm 18. i can't stand her behaviour sometimes. i really not talking to her for this whole two months that i have examinations. she just pissing me off rel bad and thing, this menopause thing is a real pain. sometimes i wish i could just shut her the hell up.
I'm a racist
I don't know why, I always have been sort of. It's not like I can't handle being around black people, I just always think they don't deserve what I do.
I always feel like I'm more civilized and of a much higher class, just because I'm white and they're black.
I just don't think black people deserve what I deserve. It's not a conscious thing, it's just how I am.
I knew, but why did it hurt so bad when I found out?
I was in love with a girl and partially still am. I knew she didn't like me. But when she told me I was depressed for weeks and last night I had a dream about her going out with one of my friends and I am really depressed now. The dream is starting to become a reality. I'm not suicidal, but I certainly can cry.
Today I accidentally broke a window playing soccer at my elementary school and now i am scared that the police will come and track me down and I will get in big trouble, hopefully not though. I am reallly nervous
Everything and everyone around me tends to say that you love one person at a time. I am in love with more than one person. Which brings about two issues. I have always been very adverse to being with men that have a girlfriend or wife. In fact, the thought of it would make me angry, and still does. I recognize that it's wrong considering two people made that commitment to each other and if I were to be in a relationship with the man knowing that he was attached, I'd be taking part in something that is horrible. Something that I wouldn't want to have happen to me if I were the woman attached to the man. Yet in the case of the men I love, I would be with them regardless. One of them is not attached. The other, in fact, is. He and I no longer live in the same town due to various complications and he is now back with his ex. I know that he is back with his ex, and he knows that I know this. But given the chance, both of us wouldn't be
able to resist each other. We're even planning to
have a weekend get away to enjoy each other. Then he will return home. I don't feel bad about it because I love him. Then again if I love someone so strongly to the point that I will knowingly take part in them cheating, how is it that I have another love as well? Love is a confusing thing.