I am in love with this girl I work with, she is beautiful, athletic, charming, intelligent and very dark and mysterious. I love everything about her even her glasses. shes always at the computer and i'm always, doing field work. but some how I know she feel the same way. I met her in the military, me and her were in A/s school together and people just thot we were weird because we always sat alone, through texas, california, and Japan, we suffer though our job, harsh studying, taking orders, waking up at 2 in the morning, doing stupid drill. and endurance training . When I see her, It was like, I'm in a dream, she enchanted me with her haunting beauty, her humble eyes, and with her beautiful smile. I know we can't be together so I decided to get myself kicked out of the military. I love her so much, I thought it would be a good thing to get kick out, but it was a big mistake, I was put in jail, I had no money, no direction, I mean I'm just
a kid that join after high school, now I'm out,
and regreting that I will never see her again, I am such a dumb azz......, Now the Government hate me, even tho I serve 2 and a half years, my family don't know what to think of me and realizing I will never see her again, Kills me. I got a cell phone with everyone in the military number and got it stolen, now she don't know where I am, and I don't know where she is since the military sometime require everyone to travel. I can not get over the pain and my best friend told me to move on but I have no idea how to, i just can not forgive myself,... all my energy and intelligent that I had before left me, I was fast and strong and have a good head on my shoulder, now, I feel like everything I know and do is a waste I am Depressed. is like I'm holding your breath under freezing cold water. repeating in my mind over again and again I'm all alone, and i felt that no one would understand me..... Karma sux.
After a panic attack.
I remember once, on my birthday, my mother chased me with a knife in her hands, screaming, "I'm going to kill you!" I had turned twelve at the time and I locked myself in my room, wondering why my mother hated me. I had suffered so much from her abuse and I am still chronically depressed. At the time, I did not know what to do and my whole body trembled. I found the sharpest item in the room, a scissor, and cut myself on my thigh. I can still remember the ribbons of blood flowing from my skin onto my bed.
I am a victim of parental favoritism.
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew that my mother loved my younger sister more than she loved me. The signs are obvious: my sister is given a higher allowance; she is praised even though I have straight A's while she can fail a class; she is never punished for her misgivings, but rather, I am; and, when my mother speaks to her, my mother's tone is softer than with me. As a little girl, my mother used to physically beat me as a scapegoat for whatever misfortune she had and later, she would seal me into a little, dark box in the basement for hours. My father was my only confidant; he was the one who saved me time and time again. Now, after my father's accident, I feel completely alone. I contemplate suicide sometimes, to the point that I can feel death on my lips.
I hate myself
I hate myself. I honestly can't bring myself to hate anyone else, not even my abuser. When there's a character in a book or TV show that's MEANT to be irritating or stupid, it takes me a good 5-10 minutes to appreciate that because I'm so set on trying to be accepting of everyone else.
When it comes to me, it's a totally different story. I think I am the most disgusting, foul creature on the planet and I honestly believe I deserved all the horrible things that've happened in my life. I don't know whether it's because the guy who tried to hurt me made me think that or it's just inherent knowledge but it's got to the point where I just don't care any more. All I want is to vanish and give the people who wasted their time trying to fix me their lives back.
i know someone Y who i trusted but was making things difficult and tried to hook my guy, so that name really means scum to me. whenever i think of her i think of hurting her. the thought of her suffering makes me happy, and if there wasnt any law on it i will hunt her down and shoot her like how they shoot rats in the alley. i have never hated someone so much before, maybe because of years and years of trust that i gave her even though she was not a good friend. when i finally realised her disgustingness, i was so angry i vowed to make her whole existence miserable from now on. i spam mailed her and am thinking of spreading rumours about her. i will never want to see her happy or rise up again. hopefully she ends up in a mental ward. i would wipe her off existence if i could.
I feel so alone
My parents divorced a year ago, and I still feel so alone. It was my dads fault and my mam still cries about it every night even though she has a new boyfriend. My dads seeing a married woman and every day I hate her more and more for being such a jerk and him for being such an idiot. I just want to curl up and die somewhere. I have no one to talk to, and I think I might be bipolar because my moods change constantly and I find myself at my most creative when I'm at my most depressed. I don't want to go to see the doctor because they'll tihnk I'm an idiot. I also get heart palpitations and anaemia. There's a history of bulimia in my family. I'm worried about what I'm going to do to myself.
If it wasnt for my daughter...
I would have dumped the witch a long time ago...I could not bare to have my baby living in another state without the comfort I provide for her. 7 more years and she will be 18!
I betrayed a trust
I wrote letters that hurt people and caused great anguish. Please forgive me.
crush on coworker
The first time I saw her, I just about stopped breathing, she was so beautiful. I flirted with her in an awkward way until my boss suggested that it would not be a good idea to start a relationship with a coworker. I wondered if the girl complained to my boss in order to get me to stop flirting, but then she made me a mix cd out of the blue one day, so I think she likes me. I am too scared to ask her out.
Sure, i have weird things too. Lately I feel like i'm driving everyone away. It feels like a ghost town. I hate myself and what I've come to be. I hate my job. I don't see the point in living. I don't believe in god. I've checked off almost everything on my to-do list. i think i bore everyone.
I shot my sister
Four years ago (as annually) me and my family went out hunting in the woods. In one session i fired a single round from a safari 550 into a bush (which i assumed was a deer as my family was hunting in a different section). It just so happened that my sister cassy was trying to make me jump for a prank....The hospital says that i had shot her clean through her diaphragm, she cant talk now. At the time i couldnt live with my self, but now i have came to accept that my future isnt in my hands.
still thinking of my ex
I am married and still think about my ex from like 10 years ago more than i think that i should. I don't tell anyone.
I'm only offering to help you with your work because your lack of work is affecting others. I'd feel much better about helping you if you didn't spend 4 hours of your workday on facebook and gchat.
Discreet at Faire
I work at a renaissance faire as a vendor, meaning I sell stuff to people who don't want to buy anything; it's a fun job, though.
Anyway. Here's the story.
I was hawking to the crowd, trying to convince someone to come and look at my stock, when this hot, young-looking black girl comes over and says "OK, so show me what you've got."
Still Crave my Ex
My ex-wife, Hispanic, shapely, remarried an anglo dude. He was younger that she. I wish them well, but I still have the hots for her and I still crave her.
She was my high school sweetheart. She was/is awesome!
But, she cheated on me and our life together ended. I don't blame her for cheating, I was young then, immature and didn't pay much attention to her like I should have. Someone else (an attorney she worked for) did and she fell.
She now has a son, lives in Texas and I still love her sooooo much. I know she knows that because she feels uncomfortable the times I have contacted her either by phone or by email. I was sorry to hear that her mom had passed away. I cried for her and her pain. When my wife died, she sent me a card expressing her condolences. I was so moved by that. I don't know if she still feels anything for me. I know she's made a life with her present husband but I know that she should have had a better life. Her husband is away from her a lot of the time and I know that can not be very healthy for her relationship. Love, I know that you know, that I still love you so much.... and I always will.
We had some very difficult times, but I also remember some very, very good times and the "munchies" we shared together.
Who knows, maybe someday, in this life, we could have a chance to be together again. I don't count on it, but I do wish it could happen. Even if it was in the later years of our life, I wouldn't mind. I would be a better partner this time around. I have matured and learned so much to share with you.
I love you... please take good care of yourself and I hope you're still interested in singing and still love to play the guitar.
yeah.... im an alcoholic. and im 18. ive been drinking since 14. and i first did it for fun but now its just because ive failed on so many things..... in fact im drunk right now. its so ridiculous...
Sometimes, when the story I'm telling is boring....I add a little, "kick"
I had know him for about a year when we started dating. We were really good friends, and all of a sudden, when he was gone, I missed him, like, extremely, and everytime I would think of him, I'd get the cliche love feelings. Well, we started dating, and it only lasted for nine days because he said he was confused. I felt more love for him, than I did my previous fiance..