My general chemistry class and chem lab make me want to kill myself for the mere fact of knowing that through my own laziness, I will never make it in the real world due to its unrealistic expectations. It makes me want to not be with any woman knowing that I would only expand into the world my stupidity.
I have a confession
I have a crush on my sister in laws boyfriend and cant stop thinking about him or dreaming about him.
My ex-boyfriend doesn't know that I have the password to his myspace, and I have been secretly checking it every day. He has no idea! I just decided that no, I do not feel bad about this because the reason we broke up is he cheated on me!
I have been so broke lately and scared to ask my parents for money because they just gave me 200$ which I immediately spent so I could go to a music festival and out drinking. SO I've basically been starving myself, like all I had to eat today was half a packet of stale banana chips and 20 Parliament Light cigarettes (would rather smoke than eat, if forced to choose). The good news is, I've managed to starve myself down to a size 00!! I just measured my waist and it is 23 inches!!
The bad news is that it actually looks terrible :(
I hope my student loan check arrives soon.
No one cares
I have been cutting myself since I can remember, and never hidden it. Why won't people help me? Are they just ignoring me? Does no one care?
My boyfriend is a tyrant 100%! The definition as published by American Psychological Association (APA) states a tyrant is a sovereign or other ruler who uses power oppressively or unjustly. He is without a doubt UNJUST and he even though he believes he is, he is NOT my ruler. He seems to go about his business thinking otherwise but I will NOT be ruled by anyone, especially him. He has the most WHACKED sense of right & wrong and the meaning of FAIR!
I am trying to see my way out of this without injury for he is physically much larger in size than me. Why? Well he just informed me that if he saw a popular game site that I subscribe to (i pay a monthly fee for it but i'm not allowed to play it?!) on my computer screen, he would destroy my computer! Which btw I just put back together after he completely trashed my room two days ago. He put a hammer through my dead mother's trunk, broke a stack of dishes, etc.
I am not a violent person and this degree of fighting left me shaking like a leaf. I became posessed during the fight and threw a smoking device at his head which I am happy to say left a lump and a mark. In the end we both found that part humorous.
I just have to be smart and figure out a way to get him out of my space and keep me bruise free. Wish me luck...
I hate myself for loving you. No matter how many times i try not to, i always end up looking for you in a crowd. The last time i truly felt happy was with you, and that still hasn't changed. I've realized the more i want something the less chance i have of getting it, but still i want to be able to with you everyday. I'm sorry
i have everything and i want more
my boyfriend is the best guy in the world. if i were a bit older (im 19) i would probably marry him. he's 21 and has everything going for him. problem is we never see each other. im the type of person that has to have attention all the time. so because i don't get enough protection from him i have to go out and get attention from some other guy. last nite i went out with a guy that i knowingly had a crush on. we made out....nothing more and i feel like poo. i love my boyfriend with all my heart and this isnt the first time i've cheated on him. i do love him with all my heart but breaking up isnt right for me. cause all i want is to see him more and if we break up i'll never see him. i just want him..and i can't have that at the moment. with school and work and everything..we just dont actually have the time. so it's either i sit here and cry all the time or i just try to control myself and just go to school and work.
..i just dont know what to do....
I love them
i keep meeting and falling for men i cant have. it is completely innocent- for example a chance meeting when i was staying at my sisters boyfriends house, i met his bandmate, and we ended up chatting till after 7am the next day. we enjoyed each others company so much, and we kissed before we left each other. But of course now i am 300 miles away again, and cant stop thinking about him.
a few months earlier, a similar thing happening meeting a boy at a folk music festival, we spent the weekend together, but the only thing we have now is each others mobile numbers. we also like 400 miles apart.
i cannto find this with anyone i know or lives near me. i just keep getting hurt over and over again. whats wrong with me.
I love my sister-in-law
This is a sad story. I'm 35 now. Since the age of 18 I am in love with a girl who is 4 years youger than me. She was 14 then, she is 31 now. At 18 I started to date with her older sister, who is my age. I love and respect and enjoy my marriage, we have good life and three wonderful kids, but what can I do... For all these years I was and still am in love with her sister.
I never tried to approach her for the fear of rejection that might have been natural first due to the age difference at the time (18 & 14), and now due to the fact that I'm married to her sister. Even if she was interested in me (and I don't know whether she is or was at all) she he couldn't ruin her sister's life for her own benefit.
Next year my sister in law is getting married. I would say it is a bit late for her at her age of 31 (she is very good looking), and when I'm happy for her, I feel sad - it means that she's gone for me forever. Not that I had any intention to divorce my wife and ruin my family. It is just sad.
I ask myself whether I married her sister to remain close to her, or because she resembles her, or because I truly loved her. I do not know the answer.
The thing is that that true sence of love, that gentle caring emotion that you feel for your kids (actually for your favourite kid...) that I feel for my sister in law has never left me.
From time to time I ask myself should I have been more corageous with my life, and try to win my true love's heart. But I never was in a position to even try. Since she was 14 I was her sister's boyfriend, and then husband.
I don't know what she feels, and I don't know whether I will do something about it. Maybe I lost my ultimate happiness in this life by not daring.
But she is getting married in a couple of months, to a guy who in all respects is lesser than me - shorter, poorer, less good looking, he really is.
And I am a bit sad.
Feel free with the comments, I couldn't dare to tell to to enyone else...
When I walked back up my driveway this evening and you drove away in your car, I was crying. You have neglected this friendship for the last time and unfortunately, this is goodbye. I will not be calling you back before I move. I will not be calling you back when I settle in. Best of luck in the upcoming year, you will probably be needing it.
Once i was bored so i peed in my fish's bowl.
i been spending everyday for the last 6 months that my ex would want me back. iv tried every way of manipulating him but nothing works. i hate this world. karma doesnt exsist
I am so vain that it is hard to get through the day knowing that I am not and will never be as beautiful as I am sure I should be. I am so shallow that I consider myself a superior being, or maybe inferior, either way, different from others in a way that I would describe as a higher state of conscious, mind, intelligence, and of course beauty in most cases. I am either the worst narcissist ever, or if every one is the same as me how can they stand the weight of not being beautiful, because even though I value my self called superior intelligence, I do not doubt that beauty is foremost above everything else in my world/mind/thoughts. Hard to describe, the way I desire beauty, I am not obsessed in a way that I can?t hide all day until I?m alone, but beauty? Truly beauty is the gift of life... And truly I deserve to be the most beautiful being alive.
Are you going to write back?
E, you are the only one that ever was for me. It's crazy, yes, for I haven't even tasted your kiss and do not know if your feel the same. But I love you. I do love you. I know you and your soul, in spite of not having spent much time together. You've ruined me for all other men. I will never be totally happy without you by my side. And that's impossible, isn't it? We cannot, can we? I will love you forever and keeping you in my daily thoughts, my love.
I hate my husband
My husband went to Iraq and came back a completely different person. He refused to seek counselling. It almost ruined our marriage. I tried to understand, but the way he treated me and our daughter caused me to despise him. He started to get better and things were great between us. Now I would like to have another child and he doesn't. I feel myself descending back into resentment for him. Marrying him was the biggest mistake I ever made.
I hate most girls I meet
I hate girls when they try to make other girls feel bad about themselves for eating this or ordering that...I am almost 30 and I weight 127 lbs, excercise regularly, eat pretty well (spluring every once in a while) and wear a size 2...and they are still some pathetic girls that make comments about my weight or what I am eating, none of these girls are as thin or healthy as me. I just want to tell them that are fat ugly cows because they deserve it!
I hate my best friends
I have to admit I hate my 2 best friends, they are immorale, dishonest, selfish, mean and down-right piggish in the way they live their lives. I go about every thing normal every day although when I talk to them or see them they make my skin crawl. I only hang out with them for social reasons but I think they are both pigs.