- What is an astronaut's favorite place on a computer?
The Space bar!
- Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
- Where did the oshrtich go and get a new tail?
The Re-tail store!
- A cowboy rode into town on Friday stayed for 3 days and left on Friday. How did he do it?
His horse's name was Friday.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
- Why did the pilgrim's pants keep falling down?
Because their belt was on their hat!
- What do fish have on their birthday?
- Why is a snail the strongest animal?
Because it can carry it's house on it's back!
- What do you call a cow who gives no milk?
A milk dud (or an udder failure).
- What letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail, of course.
- Why don't vampires like mosquitoes?
Too much competition.
- Why did the sheep say "moo"?
It was learning a new language.
- What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says "Spit out your gum" and the train says "Choo! Choo!"
- What do you call an oyster that won't share?
A selfish shellfish.
- Why were the apple and orange alone?
Because the banana split.
- Why did the fox cross the road?
To get the chicken.
- Why did the student throw his watch out of the school window?
He wanted to see time fly.
- What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
- Why aren't bananas ever lonely?
Because they come in bunches.
- What do you call an angry pea?