- Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.
- Where do pencils come from?
- Where does Superman get the kind of food he needs to make him strong?
At the supermarket.
- When does the letter Z come before the letter A?
In the word "ZebrA".
- How did the frog cross the road?
He tied himself to the chicken.
- What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea. And if it also has no legs? Still no idea.
- Why did the golfer take two pairs of pants to the golf match?
In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a snail on a boat?
- How do you know carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
- What kind of building has the most stories?
- Why did the cow wear a bell?
Because its horns don't work.
- What is the difference between a bird and fly?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
- On what kind of ships do students study?
- What do cows say when they want someone to move?
- Why did fruit punch and cereal box?
Because they were having a food fight.
- Why did the little fella sleep on the chandelier? Because he
was a light sleeper.
- Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything.
- What kind of teacher doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor.
- Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9.
- If you were in a candy shop and you were about to die what kind of candy would you get?
A life saver.