- What grows up while growing down?
- Did you hear about the bear that was hit by an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place?
They said it was a grizzly accident.
- What kind of music does a mummy sing in the shower?
- Why was the pencil crying?
Because he was pointless.
- Have you heard the joke about the butter?
I can't tell you because you will spread it.
- What do you call an annoying vampire?
A pain in the neck.
- How do eels taste?
- What do you call a penguin in the desert?
- What did the grape do when the elephant sat on it?
It let out a little wine.
- What is fastest, hot or cold?
Hot, you can catch a cold.
- Where did the spaghetti go to dance?
The meat ball.
- What goes "ha, ha, plop"?
Someone laughing their head off.
- What goes "boo hoo, splat"?
Someone crying their eyes out.
- Why did the balloon burst?
Because it saw the lollypop.
- What kind of bow can't be tied?
- Why did the boy eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's ok, he woke up.
- What has four legs but can't run?
- Why couldn't the chicken find her eggs?
Because she mislaid them.
- What did the ocean say to the pirate?
Nothing, it just waved.