- Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it's two-tired.
- What time does a shark get up?
- What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
Put it on my bill.
- What did the little mountain say to the big mountain?
- What do you call a sleeping bull?
- What do firemen put in their soup?
- What did Obi-Wan say to Luke when he was having trouble eating at a Chinese restaurant?
"Use the fork, Luke."
- What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
- What's red and bad for your teeth?
- What do you call a snowman with a sun tan?
- What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
- How much does it cost a pirate to get earrings?
- What clothes does a house wear?
- What bird can lift the most?
- What time do twins get up?
- Have you heard the joke about the garbage truck?
Don't worry, it's only a load of rubbish.
- What did one elevator say to the other?
I think I'm coming down with something!
- Did you hear the story about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
- Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?
Because it was a moth ball.
- What do you get from nervous cows?