- How do you stop a snake from striking?
Pay it decent wages.
- Why was the mushroom invited to lots of parties?
Because he was a fungi to be with.
- What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I'm coming down with something.
- Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it's over your head.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A Gummy Bear.
- What do you call a bear with no ear?
- What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
- Why did the teddy bear not eat his breakfast?
Because he was already stuffed.
- What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
- What kind of rocks are never found in the ocean?
- What do you give a dog for a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
- What do you call a camel with no humps?
- What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm.
- What does a dentist call his x-rays?
- Why was six afraid of seven?
Because 7 ate 9.
- What has 4 wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
- What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
Hot cross bunnies.
- What letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in the mail, of course.
- What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence.
- How can a leopard change his spots?