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  • What vegetable might you find in your basement?

  • Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
    Because they can spend years at "C".

  • Who went into the bear's cave and came out alive?
    The bear.

  • Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
    Yeah, he pasta way.

  • What did the baby corn say to the mamma corn?
    Where's pop corn?

  • Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
    The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup".

  • Why don't eggs tell jokes?
    They'd crack each other up.

  • What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?

  • What do you call a baby whale?
    A little squirt.

  • What's a bagel that can fly?
    a plain bagel

  • Where was Solomon's temple?
    On his head.

  • What do ghosts like for dessert?
    I scream.

  • Why did the orange stop at the top of the hill?
    Because it ran out of juice.

  • Two waves had a race. Who won?
    They tide.

  • What kind of meat doesn't stand up?
    Lean meat.

  • What is bright orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot.

  • Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
    The scientists were brainstorming.

  • What's black & white and eats like a horse?
    A zebra.

  • What did one leaf say to another?
    See you next fall.

  • Which vegetable can't you take on a boat?

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