- What would you call a beautiful cat?
A glamour puss.
- What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match
- What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
- What food are you able to can?
- What did the mayonaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door.
Close the door I am dressing.
- What do you call a fake noodle?
- When is a chair like a fabric?
When it is satin.
- What can you serve but never eat?
- Why doesn't a bald man need any keys?
Because he doesn't have any locks.
- Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Its easier than walking.
- Why did Batman go to the pet shop?
To buy a Robin.
- What kind of key opens a banana?
- What the same size and shape of an elephant and weighs nothing?
- What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You're too young to smoke.
- Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck.
- When is a door not a door?
When its ajar.
- What kind of animal tells little white lies?
- What kind of apple isn't an apple?
- Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
Because the referee called foul.
- What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?
Odor in the court.