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  • Who earns a living driving their customers away?
    A taxi driver.

  • When is the moon heaviest?
    When it is full.

  • How does a baby ghost cry?
    "Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo!"

  • How does a broom act?
    With sweeping gestures.

  • What do you call a song sung in an automobile?
    A cartoon.

  • Why did the baker stop making donuts?
    He got sick of the hole business

  • How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
    They had reservations.

  • What do you call a bear with no socks or shoes?
    Barefoot.

  • How do you make seven an even number?
    Take the s out.

  • Why were the suspenders sent to jail?
    For holding up a pair of trousers.

  • Why are ghosts bad liars?
    Because you can see right through them.

  • Were you long in the hospital?
    No, I was the same size I am now.

  • Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
    Because then it would be a foot.

  • What's brown and sticky?
    a stick

  • Why did the rooster cross the road?
    Cuz it was the chicken's day off.

  • "How do you shoot a killer bee?"
    With a bee bee gun.

  • Which state has the smallest soft drinks?
    Mini-Soda.

  • What kind of bird is like a letter?
    A jaybird.

  • What's full of holes and still holds water?
    A sponge?

  • How do you stop a charging bull?
    Take away his credit card.

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