I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. (Quote by - Roseanne Barr)

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, Who could have done this? we have no enemies. (Quote by - Phyllis Diller)

Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing? (Quote by - Katherine Whitehorn)

Vacuums don't clean houses. People clean houses. (Quote by - Everybody Loves Raymond, "Humm Vac," written by Lew Schneider, original airdate 19 March 2001, spoken by the character Marie Barone)

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. (Quote by - C.E. Cowman)

The important thing about women today is, as they get older, they still keep house. It's one reason why they don't die, but men die when they retire. Women just polish the teacups. (Quote by - Margaret Mead)

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. (Quote by - Erma Bombeck)

One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop. (Quote by - G.M. Weilacher)

I am thankful for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have a home. I am thankful for the piles of laundry and ironing because it means my loved ones are nearby. (Quote by - Nancie J. Carmody)

You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces over all the mean worry of housekeeping. (Quote by - Rudyard Kipling)

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. (Quote by - Rose Macaulay)

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes. (Quote by - Margaret Mahy)

When you use a manual push mower, you're "cutting" down on pollution and the only thing in danger of running out of gas is you! (Quote by - Grey Livingston)

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, Honey, do this, and Honey, do that around the house. (Quote by - Jim Lemon)

I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it. (Quote by - Shirley Conran)

Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door. (Quote by - Marcelene Cox)

Housekeeping ain't no joke. (Quote by - Louis May Alcott)

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. (Quote by - James Dent)

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors. (Quote by - Bette Midler)

When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why. (Quote by - Katharine Whitehorn, "Nought for Homework," Roundabout, 1962)

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. (Quote by - Phyllis Diller)

There was no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse. (Quote by - Quentin Crisp)

There is no daily chore so trivial that it cannot be made important by skipping it two days running. (Quote by - Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com)