Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. - Tommy Cooper
~ Police SMS Text Message

An invitation to a wedding invokes more trouble than a summons to a police court. - William Feather
~ Police SMS Text Message

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase
~ Police SMS Text Message

Im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case
Against me possession of good looks.im doomed! I need
Someone ugly 2 bail me out - so hurry up!
~ Police SMS Text Message

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, What was THAT?! - Jack Handy
~ Police SMS Text Message

I'm not against the police; I'm just afraid of them. - Alfred Hitchcock
~ Police SMS Text Message

Police Officer: Ma'am, i've been following you for the past two miles, why did you not pull over?
Bee: I honestly didn't see you until you put the siren on.
Police Officer: Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over?
Bee: Of course I do.
Police Officer: I clocked you at 92 mph, ma'am.
Bee: That's great, I topped out at 110 a few miles back!
~ Police SMS Text Message

When I was in jail, I was a lot of people's favorite person. I practically ran the jail. I had more freedom than the police. - Flavor Flav
~ Police SMS Text Message

A functioning police state needs no police. - William S. Burroughs
~ Police SMS Text Message

The mugger who is arrested is back on the street before the police officer, but the person mugged may not be back on the street for a long time, if ever. - Mario Cuomo
~ Police SMS Text Message

My heroes are those who risk their lives every day to protect our world and make it a better place - police, firefighters and members of our armed forces. - Sidney Sheldon
~ Police SMS Text Message

I promise you a police car on every sidewalk. - Marion Berry
~ Police SMS Text Message

There are not enough jails, not enough police, not enough courts to enforce a law not supported by the people.- Hubert H. Humphrey
~ Police SMS Text Message

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes. - Earl Wilson
~ Police SMS Text Message

Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is probably parked - Alfred Hitchcock
~ Police SMS Text Message

How do you know love is gone? If you said that you would be there at seven and you get there by nine, and he or she has not called the police yet - it's gone. - Marlene Dietrich
~ Police SMS Text Message