Baseball heaven
Bob and Earl were best friends and had been for 50 years. They went to baseball games together and had the best time possible.
They truly loved the game but they always wondered if there was baseball in heaven and agreed that whoever died first had to call the other guy and tell them if there was baseball in heaven.
Then one night Earl died and then a few days later Bob went to his funeral and came home after the burial service.
Then the phone rang it was Earl.
Earl said,"Bob is this you"
Bob said,"Yes, Earl how are you doing and is there baseball in heaven?"
Earl said,"Well I've got some good news and some bad news."
Bob said, "Whats the good news?"
Earl said, "Well there is baseball in heaven and you can play with Babe Ruth and everybody its great"
Bob said, "Then what's the bad news?"
Earl said, "Well Bob, your starting pitching tommorow night!"
Bad computer viruses
Economic computer viruses
INTEREST GROUP ECONOMIST VIRUS - Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.
ECONOMETRICIAN VIRUS - Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of
POLITICAL THINK TANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until next election.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS - nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says everything is just fine.
MARXIAN ECONOMIST VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
SOVIET ECONOMIST VIRUS - Crashes your computer, but denies it ever happened.
MAINSTREAM ECONOMIST VIRUS - It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases then in "self-defense."
CENTRAL BANK ECONOMIST VIRUS - Makes sure that it's bigger than any other file.
MULTINATIONAL CORPORATION ECONOMIST VIRUS - Deletes all monetary files, but keeps smiling and sending messages about how the economy is going to get better.
SUPPLY SIDE ECONOMIST VIRUS - Puts your computer to sleep for four years. When your computer wakes up, you're trillion more dollars in debt.
ENVIRONMENTAL ECONOMIST VIRUS - Before allowing you to delete any file, it first asks you if you've considered the alternatives