A farmer and his girlfriend...
A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll in the fields when they came across a cow and a calf rubbing noses."Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to do the same.""Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow."

An American tourist
An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him.

Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway."