Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

A DIET QUIZ
If you answer "yes" to eight or more of these questions, you may want to consider restricting your future calorie intake:

* Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send for you with a limo?

* After ordering lunch at a fast food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck?

* Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs?

* Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator?

* Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing?

* Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest Taco Bell?

* Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants?

* On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship?

* Do your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul?

* Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot?

* Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets?




A little old lady goes to the doctor and...
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesnt bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, Ive farted at least 20 times since Ive been here in your office. You didnt know I was farting because they didn't smell and are silent."

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I dont know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent they stink terribly."

"Good", the doctor said, "Now that weve cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • Bribing the Judge was a winner against A man in the army asks for a pass
  • Aussie Tossie was a winner against A Night Before Christmas For Moms
  • A definition of psychiatrist was a winner against Work vs. Prison
  • Funny Signs was a winner against Actual Business Signs In USA
  • Funny Laws was a winner against A problem with teeth
  • At The Pearly Gates was a winner against An ode to old age
  • A redneck gets shot was a winner against A customer sent an order to a distributor...
  • A Short Time to Live was a winner against Can I play the piano once these are off?
  • A boy comes home from school and tells his mother... was a winner against A little change
  • Business one-liners 04 was a winner against Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done...