Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

A lecture about English
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."


Burglars just broke in
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" [Turn from your sin]

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. Then the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture at you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an axe and two 38s!"



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • An invisible man is here to see you was a winner against Amazing Anagrams
  • Bear Hunting was a winner against You Might Be A Redneck If...
  • A Mexican bandit made a was a winner against An old occupation
  • A bus filled with politicians was driving through the... was a winner against Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
  • A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist... was a winner against Funny Signs
  • Amazing Anagrams was a winner against An invisible man is here to see you
  • Facing Adversity was a winner against Buckwheat
  • A Short Time to Live was a winner against Atheist professor
  • A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told... was a winner against A Night at the Asylum
  • Business one-liners 61 was a winner against A really cold morning