Actual Business Signs In USA
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."

In a classified ad: "Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it."

In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."

Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."

In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"

In a classified ad: "Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."

3 Questions
A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates.
"$50.00 for three questions", replied the lawyer.

"Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man.

"Yes," the lawyer replied, "and what was your third question?"