Vote For Your Favorite Joke

A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife...
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?""Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."

Burglars just broke in
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" [Turn from your sin]

The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. Then the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar,"Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture at you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an axe and two 38s!"

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done... was a winner against Arguing effectively
• A Dead Lawyer was a winner against A Bee at a Bar Mitzvah
• Attack Dog was a winner against $100,000
• An artist asked the gallery owner if the... was a winner against The Passing of an Old Friend
• A General questions his GI's was a winner against An old occupation
• A fair deal was a winner against 1stPerson: "Do you know anything about...
• 10 Good Things About The Flu was a winner against A problem with teeth
• At the first session of a conversion class... was a winner against Baptism Preparations
• Bank customer service was a winner against A couple have not been getting along for years...
• A famous General dies... was a winner against A customer sent an order to a distributor...