A really cold morning
Two men are meeting on the street."It was very cold this morning.""How cold was it?"I do not no exactly, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his own pockets."

A Night at the Asylum
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said, "How do you know?"

First inmate answers, "Winston Churchill told me!"

Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!"