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A man with a pegleg, hook hand and...
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird pooped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

After many years of trying to find steady work...
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.



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  • A defendant was on trial for murder. The... won 50.92% of the times
  • A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor... won 50.89% of the times