A bad habit
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.""What is she doing?", the pal asks."Waiting for me to get home."

A man and his Alligator
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."