Blonde in Pain
There was a blonde who was hurting all over so she went to the doctor. The doctor said, ''Where are you hurting?''

She said, ''Everywhere. See?"

She touched her arm and said, "OUCH!"

She touched her leg and, "OUCH!"

She touched her nose, "OUCH!"

"See?" she cried, " I am hurting all over!''

The doctor laughed and said, ''What you've got is a broken index finger!"

A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet...
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet."I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds."When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds."Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.""From hunger, you mean?""No, from skipping."