A housewife, an accountant
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked ''How much is 2 plus 2?''
The housewife replies: ''Four!''
The accountant says: ''I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time.''
The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, ''How much do you want it to be?''
A problem with teeth
This minister just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way.
The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... and I couldn't stop talking!