747 Full of Lawyers
Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?

A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

A walking economy
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."

The friend asks, "How so?"

"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"