Business one-liners 99
When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate. When in charge, ponder.

When in doubt, predict that the present trend will continue.

When in doubt, take all the time you need to get all the facts, or all the time you have, whichever is less.

When in doubt, use brute force.

When in trouble, delegate.

When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.

When it's you against the world, bet on the world.

When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity. For every week you are away and get nothing done, there is another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Yuppie pregnant women don't go into labor, they go straight into management.

1stPerson: "Do you know anything about...
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"
2nd Person:"A little. Whats wrong?"
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"
1st Person: "Its a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."