A Man And His Money
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money.

He loved money more than just about anything.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, "Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.

He made her promise with all her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, "Wait just a minute!' She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away. So her friend said, "Girl, I know you weren't fool enough to put all that money in there with your husband!"

She said, "Listen, I'm a Christian. I can't go back on my word. I promised him that I was gonna put that money in that casket with him.

"You mean to tell me you really put that money in the casket with him!?

"I sure did," said the wife. "I wrote him a check."

Never Underestimate The Intelligence of a Woman.

Silly Dictionary
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at
McDonald's.

Avoidable uh-avoy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.

Burglarize ur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.

Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets.

Eclipse i-klips': What an English barber does for a living.

Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: A clumsy ophthalmologist.

Heroes hee'-rhos: What a guy in a boat does.

Left Bank left' bangk': What the robber did after his bag was full of
loot.

Misty miss'-tee: How golfers create divots.

Paradox par'-of-docks: Two physicians.

Parasites par'-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist: A helper on the farm.

Polarize po'-lur-ize: What penguins see with.

Primate pri'-mate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.

Relief ee-leaf': What trees do in the spring.

Rubberneck ub'-er-nek: What you do to relax your wife.

Seamstress seem'-stress: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.

Selfish sel'-fish: What the owner of a seafood store does.

Subdued some-dood': Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like,
submarines, man.

Sudafed soo'-da-fed: Bringing litigation against a government official.