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A Short Time to Live
A man hasn't been fealing well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

"Nine..."

Bathtub Seizure
Q: What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
A: Throw in a load of laundry.




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  • A farmer and his girlfriend... won 49.77% of the times
  • A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi... won 50.49% of the times