A man took his wife to the doctors...
A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said"Your wife's mind has completely gone!"To which the man replied "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!"

12 Shots
A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."