A horrible curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation"I now pronounce you man and wife".

A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items...
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD"printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would JesusDo", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm damn sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."