A wife was berating her husband...
A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in me."The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women, 'dear', I'm not the least bit afraid of a mouse."

A real dilemma
I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.