Vote For Your Favorite Joke
As he wandered the streets he stopped at an antique shop and decided to go in. On looking around he noticed a very strange looking bronze cat which had a tag on it saying, "Bronze Cat $30.00, Story $150.00".
The man was very curious and asked the salesman to explain.
"Well" said the man, "its just like it says, $30 for the cat and $150 for its story".
"I'll just take the cat," said the man.
"Very well, but you will be back," said the salesman.
The man left the shop with the cat in his pocket.
As he walked down the street he heard a strange mewing sound. On turning around he noticed there were a couple of cats following him.
The further he walked the more cats seemed to follow him. As he got to the Brooklyn Bridge he turned to see thousands of cats behind him.
"Screw this!" he said to himself and threw the bronze cat into the river. All the cats jumped into the river too and were drowned.
The man returned to the shop where he bought the cat.
"I knew you would be back. $150.00 for the story," said the salesman.
"Forget the story," said the man. "Have you got a bronze Mets fan?"
Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring hat my nerves were so shot.
I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were so muddy,
My eyes went ablur, I just couldn’t study.
“Some pizza might help,”I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
With her eyes open wide she started to bellow:
“What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?”
“On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! on Last Year’s Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and Last Minute Crams!”
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
“Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy Finals to All, and to All, a good test.”
