
Vote For Your Favorite Joke
I can't decide!
An offense
Late one Friday night the policeman spotted a man driving very erratically through the streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening."Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so me and the lads stopped by the pub where I had six or seven pints. And then there was something called "Happy Hour" and they served these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I had four or five o' those. Then I had to drive me friend Mike home and O' course I had to go in for a couple of Guiness - couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped on the way home to get another bottle for later .." And the man fumbled around in his coat until he located his bottle of whiskey, which he held up for inspection.The officer sighed, and said, "Sir, I'm afraid I'll need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test."Indignantly, the man said, "Why? Don't ye believe me?!?"
Airplane Trouble
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."
Latest Joke Fight Results:
- Real Estate Ads Translated was a winner against If Baby Names Were Chosen Based On Parent’s Profession
- A customer sent an order to a distributor... was a winner against An Unusual Vet
- A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel... was a winner against Bad computer viruses
- A sudden change of mind was a winner against An old occupation
- A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for... was a winner against A Lutheran pastor, a Catholic priest and a Rabbi...
- You Might Be A Redneck If... was a winner against A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all...
- Always By My Side was a winner against A wife invited some people to dinner. At...
- An Honest Lawyer was a winner against Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole...
- A responsible applicant was a winner against Funny Words of Wisdom
- Air Heads was a winner against A DIET QUIZ