A man in the army asks for a pass
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the
Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just joined the
Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass?
You must do something spectacular for that
recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an
Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How
did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the
border with the Arabs. I approached the border,
and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up,
the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the
Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a 3-day pass?
So we exchanged tanks!"

An engineer, doctor, and pastor golfing
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?

George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.

The group was silent for a moment.

Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?