A boy comes home from school and tells his mother...
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked."I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"

An invisible man is here to see you
Nurse: Doctor, there is an invisible man in your waiting room.

Doctor: Tell him I can't see him now. Next.