Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

$100,000
A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer.

I know, he says, they say 'you can't take it with you.' But who knows? Suppose they're mistaken. I'd like to have something with me, just in case. So I am giving each of you an envelope containing one hundred thousand dollars and I would be grateful if at my funeral you would put the envelopes in my coffin, so that if it turns out that it's useful, I'll have something.

They each agree to carry out his wish.

Sure enough, after just a few weeks, the old man passes away. At his funeral, each of the three advisors is seen slipping something into the coffin.

After the burial, as the three are walking away together, the doctor turns to the other two and says, -Friends, I have a confession to make. As you know, at the hospital we are desperate because of the cutbacks in funding. Our CAT SCAN machine broke down and we haven't be able to get a new one. So, I took $20,000 of our friend's money for a new CAT SCAN and put the rest in the coffin as he asked.

At this the priest says, I, too have a confession to make. As you know, our church is simply overwhelmed by the problem of the homeless. The needs keep increasing and we have nowhere to turn. So I took $50,000 from the envelope for our homeless fund and put the rest in the coffin as out friend requested.

Fixing the other two in his gaze, the lawyer says, I am astonished and deeply disappointed that you would treat so casually our solemn undertaking to our friend. I want you to know that I placed in his coffin my personal check for the full one hundred thousand dollars.

Being hurt
A husband and wife went to the fairgrounds. The wife wanted to go on the Ferris wheel, but the husband wasn't comfortable with that. So the wife went on the ride by herself.The wheel went round and round and suddenly the wife was thrown out and landed in a heap at her husband's feet."Are you hurt?" he asked."Of course I'm hurt!" she replied. "Three times around and you didn't wave once!"



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A Night Before Christmas For Moms was a winner against Bacon tree
  • An ancient Irishman was a winner against A Night at the Asylum
  • Absentminded Doctor to Patient was a winner against Bumpy Air Travel
  • A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal servi... was a winner against 10 Things You Never Hear in Church
  • 3 Types of People was a winner against A sad mourner
  • Work vs. Prison was a winner against Company Policy
  • A lecture about English was a winner against A bus station is where a bus stops...
  • 12 Shots was a winner against A farmer and his wife went into town for...
  • Be Careful When Robbing Lawyers was a winner against 45 or 82?
  • Application rejections was a winner against Funny News Headlines