A Nutty Game
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''

A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all...
A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all caught in a shipwreck. Naturally, there are a lot of sharks circling around. All of a sudden, one shark darts in and grabs the priest for lunch. No more priest.
The rabbi starts praying frantically, but to no avail, as a shark comes in and eats him, too.

Now the lawyer is really worried, as a shark is coming for him. But, miracle of miracles, the shark puts him on its back, carries him to shore, and lets him off.

The lawyer, curious, waits till the shark is far enough away not to eat him, and asks, "How come you didnt eat me?" And the shark replies, "Professional Courtesy!"