A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice...
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him."Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?""I am your guardian angel," the voice answered."Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?"

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment...
As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in serveral night time excersises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School. He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation."Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked.He replied, "No, just a bit apperhensive."I asked, "What's the diffrence??"He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."