A man and his Alligator
A man and his alligator walk into a bar and the man asks, "Does this bar serve lawyers?""Of course we do," replied the bartender."Great," said the man, "I'd like a beer... and give me a lawyer for my gator."

A Fisherman's Tale
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.

The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."