Bank customer service
"I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance ... she leaned over and pushed me."

A wife was berating her husband...
A wife was berating her husband. He motioned for her to quiet down saying, "Don't unleash the beast in me."The wife snickered and replied, "Unlike a lot of women, 'dear', I'm not the least bit afraid of a mouse."