Blind man
A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower.
"There is a blind man to see you," she says.
"Well, if he is a blind man, then it does not matter if I'm in the shower, send him in."
The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them.
She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts, "That's nice and all, ma'am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds?"
Can you pay the bill?
A man was brought to the hospital, and taken quickly in for emergency surgery. The operation went well, and as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun essayed.
"Just my sister in New York," he volunteered. "But she's a spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not 'spinsters;' they are married to God."
"Really...wonderful," said Smith. "In that case, you can send the bill to my brother-in-law!