Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

All Male Jury
A lawyer addresses an all male jury: "Gentlemen, shall we cast this beautiful, lonely young lady into a dim cell in a prison, or shall we return her to her oceanside beach condo, Ocean City, telephone Number 555-4531?"


A final diagnosis
Thought I'd let my doctor check me,
'Cause I didn't feel quite right. . .
All those aches and pains annoyed me
And I couldn't sleep at night.

He could find no real disorder
But he wouldn't let it rest.
What with Medicare and Blue Cross,
We would do a couple tests.

To the hospital he sent me
Though I didn't feel that bad.
He arranged for them to give me
Every test that could be had.

I was fluoroscoped and cystoscoped,
My aging frame displayed.
Stripped, on an ice cold table,
While my gizzards were x-rayed.

I was checked for worms and parasites,
For fungus and the crud,
While they pierced me with long needles
Taking samples of my blood.

Doctors came to check me over,
Probed and pushed and poked around,
And to make sure I was living
They then wired me for sound.

They have finally concluded,
Their results have filled a page.
What I have will someday kill me;
My affliction is old age.




Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole... was a winner against Biblical Bumper Stickers
  • Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust was a winner against Absentminded Doctor to Patient
  • Ape Reading List was a winner against A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American...
  • An elderly patient needed a heart transplant... was a winner against A Horse Walks Into a Bar
  • Bribing the Judge was a winner against Biblical Bumper Stickers
  • Are caterpillars good to eat? was a winner against A minister, a priest, and a rabbi were s...
  • After surgery was a winner against African Marriage
  • A boy comes home from school and tells his mother... was a winner against A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist...
  • Best advice possible was a winner against A missing person
  • Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? was a winner against A Fisherman's Tale