Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Build an Ark
Build an Ark The Lord said to Noah, "In six months, I'm going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark." Six months passed. The skies began to cloud and rain began to fall. Noah sat in his front yard, weeping. "Why haven't you built the ark?" asked the Lord. "Oh, forgive me," said Noah. "I did my best, but so many things happened. "The blueprints you gave me didn't meet the city's code and I had to change them. Then the city said I was violating the zoning ordinance by building an ark in my front yard, so I had to get a varience.. "The Forest Service required tree-cutting permits, and I was sued by a state animal rights group when I tried to gather up the animals. "The EPA required an environmental impact statement concerning the flood. the Army Corps of Engineers wanted a map of the proposed flood plain. "The IRS seized all my assets, claiming I was trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and the Equal Opportunity Commission said I wasn't hiring enough Croatians. "I'm sorry, Lord, but I can't finish the ark for at least five years." Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies cleared and the sun began to shine. Noah looked up and said, "Lord, does this mean you're not going to devastate the earth?" "Right," said the Lord. "The government already has."

Busted Doc!
A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring.
So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."

"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."

"My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"

"Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"




Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • 12 Shots was a winner against A jealous husband hires a private detective...
  • QUOTES FROM ACTUAL PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS was a winner against Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
  • Bad Japanese economy was a winner against A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor...
  • A Night at the Asylum was a winner against Can't chance it!
  • Bad News and Good News was a winner against 12 Feet Deep
  • Bang Bang! was a winner against Men vs. Women
  • Basketball was a winner against Business one-liners 08
  • 40th Birthday was a winner against A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer's tedious argument
  • Bribing the Judge was a winner against 10 Good Things About The Flu
  • A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man... was a winner against Can't chance it!