Actual Business Signs In USA
In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."

In a classified ad: "Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it."

In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center"

On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."

Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."

In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"

In a classified ad: "Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."

Ape Reading List
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was
reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of
Species.

In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both
those books?"

"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was
my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."