Mothers....
A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?""Not too good,"says the mother. "I've been very weak."The son says, "Why are you so weak?"She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

Businessman is dying
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."