A farmer and his wife went into town for...
A farmer and his wife went into town for their yearly medical checkup. After he was finished, the doctor asked to speak with the wife alone. In the doctor's office, the doctor told her that her husband had a very serious disease. He must not have to undergo stress in anyway, the doctor said. You must do all of his chores for him, and make him nice meals 3 times daily.

You must be available for him, and do things with him, such as watch sports games with him. Do not do anything that would cause him to get upset for any reason. Without this kind of special treatment, he will die. You must do this for at least 10 months to a year. At that time he will need another check-up, at which point he will probably be alright again.

Later, on the way home, the farmer asked:"what the doctor tell you?"

She said, "You're going to die."

A pious man who had reached the age of 105...
A pious man who had reached the age of 105 suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"The old man looked around and lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"