Businessman is dying
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."

A sailor goes to a cementary
A sailor, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed
an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby
grave. The sailor walked up to the man and asked, "When
do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time
your friend comes up to smell the flowers."