Silly Dictionary
Arbitrator ar'-bi-tray-ter: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at
McDonald's.Avoidable uh-avoy'-duh-buhl: What a bullfighter tries to do.Burglarize ur'-gler-ize: What a crook sees with.Counterfeiters kown-ter-fit-ers: Workers who put together kitchen
cabinets.Eclipse i-klips': What an English barber does for a living.Eyedropper i'-drop-ur: A clumsy ophthalmologist.Heroes hee'-rhos: What a guy in a boat does.Left Bank left' bangk': What the robber did after his bag was full of
loot.Misty miss'-tee: How golfers create divots.Paradox par'-of-docks: Two physicians.Parasites par'-uh-sites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.Pharmacist farm'-uh-sist: A helper on the farm.Polarize po'-lur-ize: What penguins see with.Primate pri'-mate: Removing your spouse from in front of the TV.Relief
ee-leaf': What trees do in the spring.Rubberneck
ub'-er-nek: What you do to relax your wife.Seamstress seem'-stress: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.Selfish sel'-fish: What the owner of a seafood store does.Subdued some-dood': Like, a guy, like, who works on one of those, like,
submarines, man.Sudafed soo'-da-fed: Bringing litigation against a government official.
A lawyer's dog, running about
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, ''if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?''
''Absolutely,'' the lawyer responded.
The butcher immediately shot back, ''Good! You owe me $7.99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning.''
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $7.99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.
The contents read ''Consultation Fee: $25.00.''