A horrible curse
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."The old man says without hesitation"I now pronounce you man and wife".

Be Careful When Robbing Lawyers
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The
old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their
money. The gang was very happy to escape.

"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."

The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers!
We had $100 when we broke in!"