An anti-bat spray
Three Pastors from the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, "Ya know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything-noise, spray, cats - nothing seems to scare them away. Another said, "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away." The third said, "I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church... Haven't seen one back since!"

A housewife, an accountant
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked ''How much is 2 plus 2?''

The housewife replies: ''Four!''

The accountant says: ''I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time.''

The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, ''How much do you want it to be?''